home | A Thankfully Imperfect Woman

Mar 17

I’m Married to a Geek

And I’ve been married to this geek for 14 years. You’d think I would be used to this fact by now, however he always finds a way to surprise me.

I knew when we got married that he was/is this math genius, aka advanced math teacher at the local high school.

I knew that he could rattle off random facts making it hard to beat him at games like Trivial Pursuit. 80’s Music Games – forget it – he’s the King. Thank you, thank you very much…ok, he doesn’t really say that, but I couldn’t resist.

Other Geek Indicators:

– When Gabi was little he would walk her up to bed to tuck her in, and instead of singing nursery rhymes, he’d have her doing addition and subtraction problems. When I’d look at them, shaking my head, Gabi would say “What? I like it!” She’s just like HIM!

– The sad sigh that escapes his mouth when someone comments about how much they hate math. He just shakes his head and says “That’s sad.”

– The smile on his face when one of his past students comes back to school to talk to him and tells him how college math was so much easier because of what they learned in his class. From there, the conversation turns into a foreign language. There’s no ‘Oh hi, how is college going?’ They talk Pythagorean Theorems and Stokes Theorem (and yes, I had to ask Tim how to spell these terms).

– The fun he has singing the Quadratic Formula with his daughters.

– And the final straw…

Picture this…

Sunday afternoon. Tim up by the new garage door opener’s main box. Me standing by the exterior keypad.

As Tim was pushing the button on the main box, I was waiting to input the Pin. All of a sudden I realized that we hadn’t decided on what the Pin should be (I was tired, give me a break, ok?). I yelled up to him saying “What numbers should we use?” In response, he shouts out these random numbers and of course I, the ever-dutiful wife, immediately punch them in.

At this point I look back at him and asked “Why these numbers?”

He looks at me as if I’m stupid (ok, not really) and says “Because it’s … # to the third power… # to the second power and… # to the 1st power”.

To which my response was “WHAT? Why would you set it at THAT?” (My voice may have been a bit shrill at this point.)

His calm response “Because it’s easy to remember.”

{Head thunk}

“That’s not EASY to remember for me! Why couldn’t we set it with a mix of our birthdates?” (OK, by now I’m completely exasperated.)

“What if we mix up the birthdates?” He earnestly asks me.

{Mental head thunk, head thunk, head thunk…against the wall.}

“We could have just tried again the other way and had it correct!!!”

“Pfth – no, this is much easier”, he states and then smiles.

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH! I felt like Charlie Brown lying flat on his back while Lucy held the football up in the air.

Needless to say, I have it written down and tucked in a few different places for when I need it. Whether I actually remember where I put it may be the next blog.

{sigh}

I dearly love this man, have I told you how much I love this man? I REALLY love this man.

{sigh}

Patty O

ps…for your added enjoyment, our children have tagged Tim as Sheldon and me as Penny. I even came out as Penny when I took the “Which Big Bang Theory Character are You?” test.

Sigh…at least I have a good personality. 😉

Mar 13

A Touch of Spring!

I’ve decided that I’m not waiting for Mother Nature to change the seasons. I swear the old broad is on vacation and left Jack Frost in charge. Although, I admit, we are finally in somewhat of a warm up. We actually hit 50 degrees ABOVE zero the other day (instead of 50 BELOW)! Most of our days are above zero now…20’s and 30’s. This has been the coldest winter here since 1917!

A couple of weeks ago I decided that I needed at least one bright sunshiny spot in my house that would brighten up our moods…so, coupon in hand, I visited TJ Maxx. I found a fantastic set of towels in what I would call Spring Green, and of course, I had to buy one for each of us (5), plus two hand towels, and two wash cloths. I’m a bit of towel snob, I have to admit it. I LOVE big plush towels! Now here’s the deal…TJ’s is the best place to get a deal on them! The total for everything was approx. $47. But hold on…I also had $20 of TJ cash (which they send you when you use their credit card to pay)…So I only paid $27! Whoohoo! Now don’t forget if you get a TJ card – pay it off the same month so you’re not paying any extra fees! Win-win!

I only took a couple of pictures of my Spring bathroom as the other side of the room isn’t nearly as exciting. Here’s one with the towels:

The big bright floral picture was another TJ find from a couple of years ago – $9.99. It’s traveled all around the house, now landing here.

The sign is one I usually put by the entry in the garage in a cute little vignette, but this is one of the Spring highlights. Do you remember playing this game with your friend when you were little? We’d sing and do a clapping game: ‘See see oh playmate, come out and play with me, and bring your dollies three, climb up my apple tree, slide down my rain barrel, climb up my cellar door, and we’ll be jolly friends, forevermore, more, more, more, more, more!’ This is one of my sweetest childhood memories!

On to the colorful candles in the candle holders, these have been up for many years, I just keep changing out the candles in different colors (watch for sales). I bought some chain from the local hardware store and spray painted it so it would blend in with the wall – giving the ‘floating candle effect’. Then I added a little bucket of faux daisies to the windowsill (we received this as a wedding present 14 years ago) and Waalaa! I love it!

Sunshine, flowers and bright colors – even when there’s still dirty snow outside! 🙂

Treat yourself to something bright – even if it’s a single bright-colored flower in a vase! It’s amazing what a mood boost it can be!

Patty O

ps…I know you all noticed the garbage can in the bathtub…that’s the only place we can put it so Motzy won’t it eat. AND, yes there’s dirty laundry in the basket too. I’m really trying to make sure you feel at home (hahaha). Yes, thankfully imperfect.

Mar 2

1 Comment

Faith Barista: {Soul Rest Sunday} In the Secret Place. Hold On To Me.

Faith Barista is one of my favorite blogs.

While I may not read it as often as I could, I’m drawn to it at the times when I need it the most.

And this morning was one of those times.

I’m sharing this today, in the hopes that it may touch you as much as it did me.

Click on the link below and spend 5 minutes in peace.

Let’s try to carry that peace with us throughout the week:

{Soul Rest Sunday}

In the Secret Place. Hold On To Me.

God Bless.

Patty O

Feb 13

1 Comment

The Great Peep Connection

They spoke to me.

Yesterday, when I stopped at the gas station to pick up a few things, I saw them.

Staring at me from atop the counter.

Begging me to take them home.

Pleading with me really.

‘Please take us home…rescue us from this gas station.’

I swear they really said that.

So, of course, you know me…I have to help everyone and everything.

And so, they came home with me.

And this morning, there were only 4 left.

Oops.

😉

Patty O

Jan 28

5 Comments

A Dirty Diaper, 4 Pens, and 2 Christmas Ornaments

Add in a cell phone, a pair of Crocs, a pair of fleece slippers, multiple dog toys, baby toys, a brand new baby sippy cup and a Lip Balm…and you have the cumulative list of what Motzy has eaten to date.

Motzy (short for Motzaball) for those of you who haven’t met him, is our 7 month old English Setter.

He’s a beautiful boy who can be very sweet; laying on my feet, snuggling and laying on my computer keyboard (while I work on it – yeah, love that one).

OK but back to the eating thing…

Let’s talk about a few…

Christmas ornament #1: Remember those huge Christmas sales I told you about? Well, I hit another one last week and found the most beautiful red cloth cardinals to put in the tree or use as décor…I put them on the counter – far enough back – or so I thought. I had to run pickup Gabi and you can guess what I found when I got back. Beautiful red cardinal parts throughout the house. More than a few expletives may have escaped my mouth at that moment (poor Gabi and her sweet little ears).

Next…

We swore that he’d eaten an entire lip balm and a pen (cases and all). Thankfully we found the pen case pushed into the couch (he’d hidden the evidence) and then a day later we found the lip balm case in the driveway. A breathed a sigh of relief as I had been a little concerned about how these items might escape him, if you know what I mean.

Then…

Christmas ornament #2: There was a day after Christmas that Miss Sam was left with Motzy. Let’s just say he’s not her favorite dog. I arrived home to her telling me “Your stupid dog ate a Christmas ornament…a GLASS one!!!” I looked at her with a smirk and said “Well, he’ll be shittin’ shards!” OK, I was kidding, and that’s not the type of thing that flies out of my mouth. Thankfully he didn’t actually eat it – we found the pieces later, but it was a funny moment…darn that quirky sense of humor.

OK, now for the really gross item.

Yes, he ate a dirty diaper…and I mean a REALLY dirty diaper – a 20 month old’s poo.

{sigh}

OK…I have to say this first – THIS WAS NOT MY FAULT! The Baby Mama (the daycare babies Momma) had been here for lunch, changed the babies diaper and put it on the garage floor.

OK…now before you wonder why on earth she’d put it there, remember I live in the tundra. -22 today with the wind chill. I reuse a plastic grocery bag and place it on the workshop’s door (which is just outside our man door to the garage). This is where I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I put the dirty diapers. And Baby Mama knows that, but there was a sled and skates (donation for a local auction) hiding it. So, she put it on the floor.

OK, here’s my bad…I didn’t see it there…and I let Motzy out to go potty…and I still didn’t see it there when he ran in and I saw him grab ‘something’ on his way in. I thought nothing of it, thinking it was a leaf, or piece of paper, who knows?

Well…he went running for the dining room with his ‘treasure’ and I went back to reading books to the babies. (We were having a major reading fest – I think we went through almost a dozen books.) I finished with one book and started into the next one when I smelled poop. I looked at the baby and said “Pe-uuu – you stink” (in a silly voice). Went on reading and finally stopped and said “Holy cow are you ninky!” She just silently looked up at me and smiled (which she usually does when she’s pooped). So…we finished the last book and I looked in her diaper and realized she hadn’t……….at that same moment I realized Motzy had not shown his face this entire time…….and that sinking feeling hit.

We start for the dining room as I say “MOTZYYYYYYYY – what do you have?” And it still hadn’t dawned on me that he might have a dirty diaper.

We arrive in the dining room and I see him laying on the floor with a piece of something in his mouth. I reach down and take it from him, along with about 5 other small scraps (we’re talking maybe 2″x4″ size) and I say “what on earth do you have?”

{huge sigh – which turns into a MOTZYYYYYY – OH GROSS – YOU ATE A DIRTY DIAPER!!!}

And I mean a WHOLE dirty diaper…with the exception of 6 small scraps. Those of you who have had babies know just how big and full those diapers can get. Those little beads inside that soak up all the babies messes. And my dog has just eaten it all… {gag}

Picture this, the babies are behind me watching intently as this scene unfolds. Motzy is looking up at me while he lays in the little bit of baby poop and few beads of diaper that are left on my dining room floor. I can feel my head about to explode with disgust – my stomach churns – and the smell of baby poo is now burned into my nose.

{sigh}

I shepherd the babies into the living room and tell them to “STAY!” Motzy is thrown (ok, wishful thinking) – put outside. And I head back to the dining room with Clorox wipes and paper towels. I think the silent words ‘damn dog, damn dog, damn dog’ ran through my mind.

A little while later, Baby Mama called me to say she was on her way to pick up the girls…we talked for a little bit and I said “Oh, by the way, you’re FIRED!” (said jokingly). She said “What?” laughing. So I told her what Motzy had done…what does she say next? NOTHING! She was laughing too hard! She laughed…and laughed…and laughed. And when she stopped laughing she said “That’s a new one, I’ve never had to deal with that before!” Silently I think “Oh, I’m so glad I can provide you with a first” as my eyes rolled. She said “we can make him throw up”. Do I need to even write my response? OK, here it is: “Ohhh, I think I’ll let you take care of that!” Which she did…poor Motzy…POOR Baby Mama! Again, GROSSSSSS! (ps…remember she’s a Veterinarian.)

Oh…I almost forgot…the baby did give me a superior little look throughout this with a devilish smirk on her face. I could see her thoughts going through her head…”And you thought it was me…hahahaha (small little evil laugh while throwing her head back).”

We’re not even going to discuss the other items. These four are bad enough.

If you have or have ever had a puppy, you may be able to relate. I love my puppy…90% of the time. The other 10% of the time you can find me pulling my hair out and swearing silently while cleaning up or throwing away his latest victim.

{sigh}

Patty O

ps…doesn’t he look just so sweet and innocent in this picture? (Grrrr…)